Senju Tobirama "二代目火影" (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
tobirama) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
el_musebox2015-09-07 06:43 pm
tobirama) wrote in el_musebox2015-09-07 06:43 pm
Entry tags:
Raising up your dead...
Characters: Izuna curseofhatred & Tobirama tobirama
Verse: TBD
Status: Closed Log
Warnings: Edo Tensei should really be warning enough. Gratuitous amounts of angst and feels.
Anyone who met Senju Tobirama almost universally agreed that the man was a genius in his own right when it came to creating jutsu. He’d always been a creative sort of man prone to living in his own head. Outside of the few people he chose to associate with such as his brother and a few members of his family, he wasn’t exactly the type of man who enjoyed the company of others.
His own unstable upbringing in the midst of a generations’ long conflict had taught him that forming emotional bonds with others was usually a wasted effort because chances were they would die relatively soon. The life of a shinobi was a perilous one at best with death as their ever present comrade waiting to sweep in from the wings and claim their lives.
But these days, life was a little more settled. Peace had been reached between Senju and Uchiha and together his brother and Madara had set out to build the village they’d dreamed about as children. Tobirama did what he could to support his brother’s dream because he genuinely did want to see it come to fruition.
Madara of course was continuously contentious about his presence which in a way, the albino ninja could understand. He harbored his fair share of anger towards the Uchiha for all of the Senju blood they’d spilled and the idea of being forced to work with the man who’d killed his last blood relative would have been unconscionable to him as well.
Izuna’s death hung between them like some impassable chasm but the sad truth of the matter was…things were even more complicated than Madara or even Hashirama suspected. He’d never meant to kill the Uchiha on that fateful day. Wound him, yes so that he would be forced to retire from the field of battle and perhaps force him out of the conflict for a few weeks. Tobirama hated crossing swords with Izuna because each time they fought, he knew there was the risk that this time, one of them would slip or one of them wouldn’t be fast enough.
That day, he’d been faster than Izuna and according to Madara, it had taken him the better part of a week to die. The Uchiha spared no details telling the Senju how his last surviving brother had slowly drowned on his own blood from the wound Tobirama had given him and inwardly, he’d felt as though he were bleeding on the inside as well. Because Izuna had gone to his death with a secret and it was one Tobirama would keep himself till he too met his final end. A secret so shameful he couldn't bare the idea of anyone knowing it.
A secret which could very well destroy him if it ever came to light, one which made his current course of action absolutely idiotic and he knew it. Yet he couldn’t stop himself.
In the last years of the conflict between Uchiha and Senju, Tobirama had found himself fraternizing with his mortal enemy. What had initially started as a violent rivalry had turned into something more until he’d finally found himself doing the very last thing he should do.
He fell in love with the enemy.
And then he’d killed his lover on accident and had to live with the consequences. But he’d never been very good at just accepting things as they were. Tobirama was the type of man who if he found a problem he couldn’t surmount, he would keep trying until he’d found a way of either working around it or under it but no matter what, he rarely just accepted things as they were. His clever intellect which often was the bane of his existence came into play here.
He’d first gotten the idea for this particular jutsu when he’d been just a callow young boy shortly after Itama’s death. The constant loss of his kin had made Tobirama question the very foundations of life and death and how exactly he could bypass that problem as well. It had been more of an intellectual exercise more than anything else and he’d never dreamed as a young boy that he might someday figure out a way to bypass death itself and summon the dead back to life.
But he’d gotten older and more clever in his jutsu as the years went by but even he’d been stymied for the longest time about how to complete the jutsu and had put it away once more. Izuna’s death had inspired him to go back to his old notes and rebuild things nearly from the ground up once more. Even working obsessively on the resurrection technique, it took him years to perfect things and dozens of failed attempts. No one else had ever succeeded in what he was attempting a part of him knew deep down that there was a reason for this.
That this particular jutsu in the wrong hands could be devastating. If he’d had any sense, he might have abandoned his work but the need to see Izuna again, to hear him speak and yes...a part of him wanted to return what he’d stolen from Madara…all of that spurred him onwards. One of the first things Tobirama had done once the groundwork for Konoha was complete was carve out a place for himself deep inside what would eventually become the monument mountain. He needed privacy to conduct his experiments and quite frankly, the things he dabbled in wasn’t for public consumption. A simple hiraishin sigil made it so only he could gain access to the laboratory hidden deep inside of the mountain and a large part of his free time was spent there.
He knew Hashirama worried about him but his brother was well-used to Tobirama’s sometimes obsessive fixation on creating the jutsus that swirled around in his mind and simply let it go without comment save for the occasional reminder he needed to sleep and eat more. How could Tobirama do that when he was so close?!
The DNA he’d needed to complete the jutsu had been surprisingly easy to come across thanks to his own sentimentality that had him holding onto the blankets they’d most often used for their illicit trysts. He’d found plenty of long black strands of hair among the folded up bedding he’d kept locked away deep at the bottom of a trunk but Tobirama hadn’t wanted to risk squandering it so he’d stuck to using other people until he’d perfected the summons.
Now he used a few of those precious strands of hair as a marker for the jutsu and poured his chakra into the freshly drawn ink on the stone floor.
The day he’d finally cracked the final solution on how to bind the souls of the resurrected to corporeal form, he’d very nearly broken down right then and there because the price to be paid…the sacrifice necessary was terrible and beyond the pale. But he’d always been good about selectively ignoring his own particular moral compass if the situation called for it and finally…Tobirama chalked up the price to be paid in the life of an enemy-nin to be a necessary one.
After all, the man had been an enemy of Konoha and would have done his best to harm the very thing Tobirama was trying to protect.
He’d been taking lives since the age of five so in the end…it hadn’t been very hard to sentence the enemy ninja to death but Tobirama had to admit…he hadn’t been prepared for the screams of terror and pain that had escaped his unwitting victim. But he also could not let empathy stop him when he was so close to attaining his goals so he’d continued on with the experiment heedless of the sounds coming from a man slowly suffocated in the façade necessary to bind the spirit’s soul to. Finally, blessed silence fell about the laboratory once more and Tobirama stepped back a few steps as the jutsu finished wrapping around the now still body of the Cloud ninja. Already, the darkness of his skin was being replaced by a more familiar pale, milky hue and the hair grew out long and black in those familiar spiky strands of inky darkness he knew so intimately. Soon enough, the Cloud-nin’s rough-hewn and craggy face was replaced by the dark more delicate and handsome features of his dead lover’s and Tobirama felt something tighten around his heart.
The albino ninja had dreamt about this moment for years and finally, it looked as though it was going to come to fruition. How had he forgotten about the delicate arch of those dark eyebrows and ridiculous length of those lashes? He’d thought he had a firm mental picture of what Izuna looked like trapped forever in his mind’s eye but the years had dulled the details after a while and now he was remembering all the tiny things he’d found so pleasing in his lover’s form.
With his heart seemingly caught in a painful vice grip, Tobirama forced himself to stand there still and straight and wait the seemingly interminable eternity to discover if his jutsu was going to function as it should.
curseofhatred & Tobirama tobiramaVerse: TBD
Status: Closed Log
Warnings: Edo Tensei should really be warning enough. Gratuitous amounts of angst and feels.
Anyone who met Senju Tobirama almost universally agreed that the man was a genius in his own right when it came to creating jutsu. He’d always been a creative sort of man prone to living in his own head. Outside of the few people he chose to associate with such as his brother and a few members of his family, he wasn’t exactly the type of man who enjoyed the company of others.
His own unstable upbringing in the midst of a generations’ long conflict had taught him that forming emotional bonds with others was usually a wasted effort because chances were they would die relatively soon. The life of a shinobi was a perilous one at best with death as their ever present comrade waiting to sweep in from the wings and claim their lives.
But these days, life was a little more settled. Peace had been reached between Senju and Uchiha and together his brother and Madara had set out to build the village they’d dreamed about as children. Tobirama did what he could to support his brother’s dream because he genuinely did want to see it come to fruition.
Madara of course was continuously contentious about his presence which in a way, the albino ninja could understand. He harbored his fair share of anger towards the Uchiha for all of the Senju blood they’d spilled and the idea of being forced to work with the man who’d killed his last blood relative would have been unconscionable to him as well.
Izuna’s death hung between them like some impassable chasm but the sad truth of the matter was…things were even more complicated than Madara or even Hashirama suspected. He’d never meant to kill the Uchiha on that fateful day. Wound him, yes so that he would be forced to retire from the field of battle and perhaps force him out of the conflict for a few weeks. Tobirama hated crossing swords with Izuna because each time they fought, he knew there was the risk that this time, one of them would slip or one of them wouldn’t be fast enough.
That day, he’d been faster than Izuna and according to Madara, it had taken him the better part of a week to die. The Uchiha spared no details telling the Senju how his last surviving brother had slowly drowned on his own blood from the wound Tobirama had given him and inwardly, he’d felt as though he were bleeding on the inside as well. Because Izuna had gone to his death with a secret and it was one Tobirama would keep himself till he too met his final end. A secret so shameful he couldn't bare the idea of anyone knowing it.
A secret which could very well destroy him if it ever came to light, one which made his current course of action absolutely idiotic and he knew it. Yet he couldn’t stop himself.
In the last years of the conflict between Uchiha and Senju, Tobirama had found himself fraternizing with his mortal enemy. What had initially started as a violent rivalry had turned into something more until he’d finally found himself doing the very last thing he should do.
He fell in love with the enemy.
And then he’d killed his lover on accident and had to live with the consequences. But he’d never been very good at just accepting things as they were. Tobirama was the type of man who if he found a problem he couldn’t surmount, he would keep trying until he’d found a way of either working around it or under it but no matter what, he rarely just accepted things as they were. His clever intellect which often was the bane of his existence came into play here.
He’d first gotten the idea for this particular jutsu when he’d been just a callow young boy shortly after Itama’s death. The constant loss of his kin had made Tobirama question the very foundations of life and death and how exactly he could bypass that problem as well. It had been more of an intellectual exercise more than anything else and he’d never dreamed as a young boy that he might someday figure out a way to bypass death itself and summon the dead back to life.
But he’d gotten older and more clever in his jutsu as the years went by but even he’d been stymied for the longest time about how to complete the jutsu and had put it away once more. Izuna’s death had inspired him to go back to his old notes and rebuild things nearly from the ground up once more. Even working obsessively on the resurrection technique, it took him years to perfect things and dozens of failed attempts. No one else had ever succeeded in what he was attempting a part of him knew deep down that there was a reason for this.
That this particular jutsu in the wrong hands could be devastating. If he’d had any sense, he might have abandoned his work but the need to see Izuna again, to hear him speak and yes...a part of him wanted to return what he’d stolen from Madara…all of that spurred him onwards. One of the first things Tobirama had done once the groundwork for Konoha was complete was carve out a place for himself deep inside what would eventually become the monument mountain. He needed privacy to conduct his experiments and quite frankly, the things he dabbled in wasn’t for public consumption. A simple hiraishin sigil made it so only he could gain access to the laboratory hidden deep inside of the mountain and a large part of his free time was spent there.
He knew Hashirama worried about him but his brother was well-used to Tobirama’s sometimes obsessive fixation on creating the jutsus that swirled around in his mind and simply let it go without comment save for the occasional reminder he needed to sleep and eat more. How could Tobirama do that when he was so close?!
The DNA he’d needed to complete the jutsu had been surprisingly easy to come across thanks to his own sentimentality that had him holding onto the blankets they’d most often used for their illicit trysts. He’d found plenty of long black strands of hair among the folded up bedding he’d kept locked away deep at the bottom of a trunk but Tobirama hadn’t wanted to risk squandering it so he’d stuck to using other people until he’d perfected the summons.
Now he used a few of those precious strands of hair as a marker for the jutsu and poured his chakra into the freshly drawn ink on the stone floor.
The day he’d finally cracked the final solution on how to bind the souls of the resurrected to corporeal form, he’d very nearly broken down right then and there because the price to be paid…the sacrifice necessary was terrible and beyond the pale. But he’d always been good about selectively ignoring his own particular moral compass if the situation called for it and finally…Tobirama chalked up the price to be paid in the life of an enemy-nin to be a necessary one.
After all, the man had been an enemy of Konoha and would have done his best to harm the very thing Tobirama was trying to protect.
He’d been taking lives since the age of five so in the end…it hadn’t been very hard to sentence the enemy ninja to death but Tobirama had to admit…he hadn’t been prepared for the screams of terror and pain that had escaped his unwitting victim. But he also could not let empathy stop him when he was so close to attaining his goals so he’d continued on with the experiment heedless of the sounds coming from a man slowly suffocated in the façade necessary to bind the spirit’s soul to. Finally, blessed silence fell about the laboratory once more and Tobirama stepped back a few steps as the jutsu finished wrapping around the now still body of the Cloud ninja. Already, the darkness of his skin was being replaced by a more familiar pale, milky hue and the hair grew out long and black in those familiar spiky strands of inky darkness he knew so intimately. Soon enough, the Cloud-nin’s rough-hewn and craggy face was replaced by the dark more delicate and handsome features of his dead lover’s and Tobirama felt something tighten around his heart.
The albino ninja had dreamt about this moment for years and finally, it looked as though it was going to come to fruition. How had he forgotten about the delicate arch of those dark eyebrows and ridiculous length of those lashes? He’d thought he had a firm mental picture of what Izuna looked like trapped forever in his mind’s eye but the years had dulled the details after a while and now he was remembering all the tiny things he’d found so pleasing in his lover’s form.
With his heart seemingly caught in a painful vice grip, Tobirama forced himself to stand there still and straight and wait the seemingly interminable eternity to discover if his jutsu was going to function as it should.
no subject
"But...I thought it was supposed to be different this time," he numbly whispered, not realizing his thoughts were out there, aloud, until his lips were already moving. And it was true, it was supposed to be different. They were supposed to be happy. They were supposed to be able to live together. They were supposed to have a chance.
"Why? Why did he do this? Did he say?"
How important were the "why"s, though? He knew what he needed to do, what loyalties he was supposed to have. His brother was important, his brother needed him, his brother had to have reasons, and it was his job to protect him, to follow him, wasn't it? His brother's dream had always been inherited by him.
Which meant he and Tobirama were enemies again. Once they left this room, they would be on opposing sides of a raging war, bringing their weapons to clash and spark while their families fell dead around them. The thing that killed him once was raging again, a monster neither could ignore.
But that would only be when they left this room, and suddenly the pieces were starting to fall into place, each horrifying word, each guilt-ridden tear, even the look on his face now. Tobirama didn't plan on letting him out of this room ever; why would he? Why would he risk letting something that couldn't die, couldn't be hurt or stopped, out of here to aid in his brother's machinations? There was too much at risk, the entirety of everything too fragile.
Tobirama was going to kill him again.
Izuna backed up one step, pressing back against the arms as he felt his eyes widen, filled with the pain of a second betrayal, something that cut to the core perhaps even worse than the first time. Hands found the other's chest and he tried to push him back, farther, tried to put space between them as he shook his head. He was tool He was a tool, and Tobirama would break this tool before Madara could use it.
And that's all he saw him as, wasn't it? Less than a person. If he had been truly alive and in this room, would Tobirama have stuck a kunai in him then, too? Killed him so he couldn't help his brother? What kind of man was he in love with?
Senju bastards. They sat and bemoaned the Uchiha way but look how cruel, how loveless they could be.
"No!" he hissed, not explaining him, thinking he didn't have to. "You can't. You can't just kill me again! I'm not a damn weapon you can break because it's easier for you! I'm a person! You can't bury me a second time!"
no subject
“I thought it was too. But when I got back they told me Madara had defected. He just took off on his own and turned his back on everything we’ve been building all these years.” If he’d been thinking clearer perhaps he might have explained things better. The rest of the Uchiha hadn’t sided with Madara. Even they were tired of the continual wars and wanted peace.
“He probably did it because the council chose Hashirama to be Hokage. I don’t know why he did it, Izuna. Hashirama was saying something about some other path but he wasn’t making a lot of sense. He’s too upset by this.” The albino ninja explained dully.
It was ironic really. Even though he knew that the Uchiha had remained loyal to Konoha, when it came to Izuna he knew even in his heart of hearts where the other man’s loyalties would lie. He would go to Madara and take up his banner again because he was his brother and his kin. If matters had been different and Hashirama had been the one to walk away from Konoha….would Tobirama had followed him or stayed behind? He’d like to think he’d have chosen the village and everything they’d worked so hard for but deep down he suspected he too would have chosen his brother over Konoha.
Some loyalties ran deeper than others and few could approach the loyalty both of them felt towards their brothers.
Tobirama could see the moment Izuna realized what he’d been dreading and he felt his heard break in the face of that betrayal that filled his lover’s face. In that moment, he would have welcomed death over facing this awful confrontation. Izuna crushing his windpipe before would have been preferable to this terrible moment when his lover realized he was going to betray him once more. But what other choice did he have?!
He didn’t need any explanations because Izuna was clever enough to read between the lines. But those angry words still had him flinching ever so slightly under the weight of those accusations.
“Do you think I want to do this?! Gods, Izuna I want nothing more than to be with you again and to know peace. But you’re going to go to Madara and you’re going to start up a war again because of him. And it’s a stupid war because your own damned clan doesn’t even want any part of it! It’s all Madara’s pride and vanity!”
no subject
"All those words," he whispered, "were you just trying to lull me with all those sweet words?"
Izuna didn't bother to ask if they were true, and he wouldn't insult him by saying they weren't real; to Tobirama, they were. The albino wouldn't have cried if they weren't, wouldn't have shown his weakness to Izuna and let those tears drop down onto his enemy's fingers. He thought he loved him.
And Tobirama would kill what he loved. Why not? He had done it before.
"If I was a breathing person," he whispered, breaking away from him, backing up farther, farther, trying to put enough space so he wouldn't drive his own fist into that armor, "would you kill me, too? Would you drive another blade back into me?"
But he couldn't deny Tobirama's claims either, could he? He would go to his brother, because he loved him fiercely, enough to forsake the world, to take up his arms. He loved him enough to help bear the weight of his injustice, to fight for him, to die a million times over for him and not flinch. That was what a brother did. That was in their blood.
"Madara is the Uchiha clan," he whispered, not thinking, not caring. He was the head of the clan, and if none followed him, then they weren't Uchiha. They were just filthy defectors and didn't have any clan loyalty, any pride. The Senju could keep them.
Unless...
"Are you going to kill all the Uchiha that remain?" he hissed, feeling mildly protective amid the repulsion. "Are they a 'risk' like I am?" Anger began to take root, grow, that love inside of him darkening at the edges, making his tongue cruel, sharp.
"You're so quick to get rid of me, but maybe I could have talked to him. Maybe I could have convinced him. Maybe things could change if he sees me, but you're just quick to kill me! Is that what you want, Senju? Is this it!?"
no subject
“Of course not! I don’t want to do this, Izuna! How could you even think I’d want to do this? I had no idea Madara was going to turn on the village but I know you. You’ll go to him and you’ll make war on Konoha and everything we’ve worked so hard to build here.” He’d already killed Izuna once and that guilt had haunted him every day since. Tobirama didn’t know if he was strong enough to say goodbye to his lover again. Even if it was just a simulation, a fake facsimile of life it still looked and acted like Izuna.
“No, I wouldn’t. You as a living breathing person is less of a threat then you in your current state.” All the things he’d deliberately built into the jutsu for Izuna’s benefit could now be turned against them. The invulnerability, the near limitless chakra stores not to mention the inability to be killed had all been his attempts at making things up to Izuna. And now it was going to bite them all in the ass.
“Madara is one man! And he’s turned his entire back on your clan as well as the village he helped build. Just stay here in Konoha.” Stay with him, it went unstated between them. “We’ll figure something out.” And then he wouldn’t have to dispel the jutsu. If Izuna stayed in Konoha, then he wasn’t a threat, right?
Tobirama physically recoiled from Izuna’s question because it had never even crossed his mind. “Of course not! Uchiha and Senju stand together now, don’t you get it? There is no more need for killing, that’s what your brother can’t get through his damned skull. Even his own clan has tired of his warmongering.”
Izuna’s words cut like blades and left him bleeding on the inside but Tobirama struggled to keep the tenuous edges of his self-control woven together. He was just as upset as Izuna and didn’t trust himself to keep a calm and level head in this matter. “Stop saying that! I don’t want to kill you, Izuna. But Madara has gone off the deep end. He was telling Hashirama about some crazy path and some stupid stone and I—I don’t even know what he was saying. It made no sense. But you can’t ask me to just let you leave and go to Madara.” He couldn’t risk it. Couldn’t risk Madara finding some way of turning Izuna around to his twisted thinking and turning him into a terrible tool to be used against Konoha.
no subject
You're asking me to choose.
In a way, it was the cruelest of ultimatums: choose to betray his brother and live in this lab forever with the person he loved, or deny him and be killed again. He was a hostage, and Tobirama was pleading with him to pick the right side. But what was the correct one? How could he betray Madara?
And yet, how could he spend eternity in here? Would he ever see the light of day? Feel the cool winds of autumn on his face? Would he know how spring felt beneath his bare feet? Would he know the unconditional love of his brother again once he realized that Izuna had turned traitor?
Could Tobirama do that to Hashirama?
"I can't ask you to let me go," he murmured, "but you can ask me to betray my brother and leave him for you?"
For once, the anger wasn't there, just confusion, just weariness even if he wasn't tired, couldn't be tired any more. Turning, he walked away from him, eyes on the ground, unsure, unwilling to process this; it was a lot. Too much. He needed to figure out his plan, figure out what to do.
Dying didn't help Madara, though it could bring down Tobirama slightly. Morale would suffer, but Tobirama wouldn't fight Madara; Hashirama would. They always did, they always would, fate swore it. All it might do would be to distract him. He could try to kill Tobirama, but he would dispel the jutsu first, or Izuna could die with it anyway. (Though, in truth, he wasn't sure he had it in him to kill Tobirama to start with.)
If he could get out of here and to his brother, Tobirama might kill him anyway, but if he could get to Madara in time, if he could show him that he still lived, then his brother could try to extract the knowledge from Tobirama to bring back Izuna even if the Senju released it. It could put his lover in danger, though, but he could stop his brother from doing anything if he brought him back in time.
But if Madara had turned his back on the clan, the village, could Madara really help his brother then?
Yet, his clan wouldn't have done anything for him. His clan wouldn't lift a finger for him. The only one who would do anything, who would try to protect him, would be Madara. Even now, Tobirama didn't trust him enough to let him leave this room, and spoke of ultimatums. Who was his real ally anymore?
Simple: he didn't have one. So he had to go to the only one he knew he could have.
He paced for a moment before walking back to his lover, opening his mouth as if he could start yelling at any moment, a typical Izuna expression. But immediately his lips screwed up tight, as he funneled his chakra into his eyes and started casting the genjutsu before he could even get a word out.
"Forgive me, but I won't be your hostage or your dirty secret that you need to clean up after any longer."
no subject
He didn’t want to have to dispel the jutsu. He wanted Izuna to choose to stay in Konoha so that they could start to build a life together perhaps. One that they’d been denied by fate once before.
“I’m not asking you to betray Madara. Just stay out of the conflict. Don’t take up arms against Konoha and make us enemies again.” The albino ninja said with a note of desperation in his tone now.
“You know Hashirama, he’s not going to want to fight your brother if he can avoid it. And maybe if Madara knows you’re alive again maybe he can be talked around, I don’t know. But if you leave here and race off to join Madara then everything is going to escalate further. So please, just stay here, Izuna.”
He probably should have been expecting Izuna to turn those awful eyes on him once again. Once upon a time, they’d had an unwritten agreement between them that Izuna wouldn’t try and place him under any more genjutsu. But Izuna wasn’t interested in that unspoken agreement anymore and the Senju found himself caught in the net of that illusion.
It was sloppy…so, so sloppy on his part. But it was obvious Tobirama wasn’t at his best right now.
no subject
And maybe he was. Maybe he was truly sorry from the bottom of his heart because things had to go this way, because he couldn't do the things that Tobirama wanted him to do. Be a willing prisoner, a hostage, not defend his brother...how could he do that? How could he be expected to do any of it? His heart hurt in his chest just thinking about it, and having to choose couldn't save everyone.
Because if it was Tobirama against any one else, he would have won. Izuna could have stayed, could have been happy here, waiting for the day to go outside. Could have looked beyond his new odd appearance. Could have loved him in the way they both deserved.
But just as Tobirama had betrayed him, Izuna would do the same.
The room was gone, lost in the smoke of a dusk battlefield. The sound of conflict was loud, distant, but close enough to be an immediate concern in the little clearing where Tobirama now stood, alone. People were screaming, loud, echoing, deathyells as they fell to the ground and were still. Fire could be smelled through the line of trees, burning the ground out while steel clashed like haunting, hateful musical notes.
It was old, familiar, the thing they were both made from, a war that never stopped crafting and molding. There was a rustling in the brush and trees to the left, something that could have been an enemy or an escaping animal; it was hard to say when adrenaline was high and the air cloudy. But the sound of the voice was familiar as Izuna emerged, the pull back on his weapon to strike stalled as he saw the Senju's face.
"Tobirama?" he asked, red eyes surprised, body foolishly relaxing. "I didn't think--"
But the words were cut short as the wet thunk of a wild kunai caught the young Uchiha in the back. The shock that passed over his face was frozen in the moment, and he slowly started to pitch forward, towards his lover, his own sword clattering to the ground from loose fingers. He coughed, once, flecks of blood slipping over his lips, more pouring the corner of his mouth. Already, the back of his clothes were tacky, wet, warm and spreading.
It looked so similar to that day, but he couldn't help it. There was no Madara to catch him, no Hashirama to try peace, no bloodsoaked guilty hand from Tobirama. This was the way they were supposed to die, not by each other but by the system. And Izuna only hoped Tobirama had enough wits about him to teleport them out of there...
...a technique Izuna hoped he would dreamily use in real life, too.
no subject
The screams of pain from the wounded and dying, that distinctive smell of charred flesh and vegetation lingered in his nostrils unpleasantly. He’d found himself on the wrong side of the river and behind Uchiha lines thanks to his own skirmish having lasted longer than he’d intended.
That day, Izuna had found him there in the underbrush but the presence of his kinsmen at his back had forced him to go on the attack rather than offering a quick and hurried greeting for his lover. It had caught him by surprise all the same when Izuna had come charging out of the underbrush with his sword drawn.
In the illusion however, there was no other Uchiha forcing the other man’s hand and when the familiar presence of Izuna came into view, he loosened his grip on his own sword and lowered it as well.
“I got caught—“ Which was about the time he saw the metallic streak of that kunai fly directly at Izuna’s back. It happened so fast that even with is legendary speed, the Senju had no chance to react before it was buried deeply in the Uchiha’s back. Horror filled the albino ninja’s expression and he leaped forward into action. His own sword dropped to the ground beside him as he caught the stumbling Uchiha’s body and wrapped strong arms around him.
“Izuna! Gods, hang on.” This was war, the chance one of them could be felled by an enemy blade or even at the hands of their individual families was a risk both men were all too aware of. But Tobirama wasn’t just going to let him die either. Not if he could help it. Unfortunately, it wasn’t as though he could just teleport Izuna back to the Senju healer’s tent. No one knew about their affair and if he took Izuna back to the Senju camp, even if he didn’t die he’d end up a prisoner of war.
So instead he gathered the wounded Uchiha close and concentrated on one particular marker. His ability to teleport had been why Tobirama had been so far afield this day. And as Izuna had hoped, even outside of the illusion the bespelled Senju had grabbed onto him and activated his hiraishin jutsu.
Unfortunately, Izuna probably hadn’t been counting on just where Tobirama had transported them.
The Uchiha found Tobirama and himself standing almost right on top of a startled looking Hashirama.
Going to his brother had been just gut instinct. After all, Hashirama had his own unique healing abilities thanks to his Mokuton and if anyone would be willing to hear him out of course it would be Hashirama.
But unlike the hypnotized Senju, the Hokage wasn’t under any Uchiha mind trickery. Finding himself face to face with the eerie copy of his best friend’s dead brother was startling to say the least and Hashirama froze for a moment.
“Tobira—“
“Anija! Help him.” Tobirama called out for his brother both in the illusionary world and the real one but the dulled look in his eyes instantly gave away his altered state.
no subject
He pressed his body against Tobirama's, and for a moment, he tried to believe that the other man was doing this because he wanted to, because he wanted to give Izuna the freedom he deserved. He closed his eyes and--
They weren't outside.
They weren't outside at all.
Maybe he should have thought ahead; Tobirama loved him and wouldn't just take him out of the field but to someone who could help, who could save this illusion's life. And who better, truly, than Hashirama, his brother's...what? Sworn enemy? Friend? He didn't know anymore.
But now he was in the lion's den, staring at the other man in the face, with Tobirama begging for him to help a dead man.
"...damn."
The word was a whisper, and he tightened his hold down on the genjutsu with as much chakra as he could; if Tobirama was released now, it would be two against one and Izuna wondered if there would be even a second of hesitation before the younger brother released the jutsu. He backed up, one step, two step, not wanting to attack Hashirama not because he thought the man could beat him (how fun would it be to test the limitations of this immortality?), but ...because of Tobirama. Because it was his brother.
What a fool he was for love sometimes. It would be the death of him. Again.
"I have no fight with you, Senju," he hissed as he moved awat slowly. "I just want to leave." And that would win nothing, he knew. Why would it? He was a ghost made real, and he expected to just...disappear? To be let go? Idiot.
And yet, he kept talking, digging his own grave, not for himself but for the enthralled man beside him. "Your brother found me and captured me, crafty bastard," he said, refusing to tell him the truth, that he made him, that all of this, all of this was Tobirama's fault. He...couldn't bring himself to do it, self-preservation or not. He didn't deserve that shame in front of his brother, and Izuna knew well how painful of a cross it is to bear. He wouldn't inflict it on him.
"You can't win." And rather than draw any weapon at him, he turned and tried to jump out the nearest window.
no subject
former?best friend.He’d had the day from hell already so really, this was just about the last thing he wanted to deal with right now. The Hokage had taken Madara’s defection hard because he’d never believed his friend would turn his back on their dream. The village they’d poured their blood, sweat and lives into. It was their home, their dream.
But instead of being allowed to drink the bottle of sake he’d snuck into his office in peace, he instead found himself with a brother who was obviously ensnared in some Sharingan illusion and a not so dead Uchiha brother.
“Anija, please, don’t let him die.” Tobirama pleaded, still trapped in the illusion where he held a bleeding and dying Izuna in his arms.
“I’m afraid that’s not an option. Not until I have some answers.” Hashirama said, face hardening ever so slightly and when Izuna moved to try and dive out the window the Hokage made a few hand seals and the wooden frame suddenly transformed as wooden bars criss-crossed in a lattice across the window to bar the Uchiha’s way.
“We can handle this like civilized people and you can tell me what the hell is going on or I will truss you up and let Tobirama give me some answers.” A bleak look filled the brunette’s dark eyes as he studied Izuna and his curious appearance without ever actually looking directly into his eyes. At first he’d thought the Uchiha to be a living, breathing man but now he wasn’t so sure about it. The cracked and papery skin was a dead giveaway as was the darkened sclera he’d seen in passing.
The older Senju made the necessary seals to break the genjutsu cast on his brother. “Kai.” Izuna had seen Senju Hashirama fight toe to toe with his beloved elder brother countless times over the years butg had never had that terrifyingly powerful chakra directed at him. It was strong enough to send a lesser shinobi to their knees and cut through the illusion cast upon Tobirama readily enough.
With an audible gasp, the albino ninja snapped back to reality and the instantaneous look of shocked disbelief and outrage that flashed across his face was painful to behold. Baleful red eyes snapped to Izuna but like his brother, he knew better than to look his former lover directly in the eye.
“You bastard,” Tobirama said and for a moment he didn’t even seem to register the fact that Hashirama was standing there. But then the realization of just where he was set in and he felt an icy hand wrap around his heart. “Anija—I—“
“I’d like some answers, Tobirama. What is Uchiha Izuna doing standing in my office.”
no subject
If he had just told Tobirama he would stay and accepted his offer...
Feeling his genjustu being shattered snapped his chakra off, and he felt it coming back to him. Hashirama's power was strong, deep, and had he been anyone else (or even been alive), Izuna might have been afraid. But no, no, Tobirama was the one that could kill him without any effort at all, and Tobirama was the one hurt most by everything. His greatest ally was his greatest threat.
Izuna watched the look on the other's face, before turning his own away, arms crossed over his chest. Betrayal burned, and he wondered if this somehow made them even.
"I told him how you found and captured me," Izuna intersected, still not looking at Tobirama. Hinting. Trying to show him the best way he could that he could still try to protect him.
"Odd that you would interrogate you ally and not the brother of this village's enemy." Stop going after the idiot albino and come at me, instead!
no subject
It helped sooth his wounded ego at having been placed under a genjutsu once again by the other man and soothed the sense of betrayal he’d experienced at the other man’s hands.
But there was a difference between not telling Hashirama everything he was up to and outright lying to his brother’s face and he didn’t know if he was ready to do that just yet. There was still some moral ground even he wouldn’t step over.
“That’s where I’m a little unclear. If Tobirama had found you alive and in Konoha then he would have told me immediately.” Hashirama disagreed solemnly. “He’s always been scrupulous about those kinds of things.”
Those words…that implicit trust Hashirama had in him immediately sent a shaft of agonized guilt through Tobirama. How could he have even considered lying to his brother when he trusted him so completely? It made him feel like he was lower than pond scum and the guilt shown on the younger Senju’s face.
“Anija—“
“I'm not interrogating him, I'm simply trying to get to the bottom of all of this. Madara isn’t…he’s just confused. I am still hopeful this can all be resolved and he’ll come back so it’s a little bit hasty to be labeling your brother as an enemy of Konoha just yet.” The Hokage continued, accidentally talking over his brother in the process. How the man could still have faith in Madara after everything was beyond Tobirama. His loyalty to the Uchiha stepped into the realm of naïve optimism as far as he was concerned. “But none of this explains how you’re here, Izuna. You were dead as far as I know. Unless Madara was lying to me all these years about your death…”
“I bought him back.” The words burst from Tobirama before he could even think to edit himself. Hashirama glanced over at him sharply, the solemnity in his face temporarily replaced by confusion.
“What do you mean, “you brought him back”, Tobirama?”
“I created a new jutsu which summons the dead and provides them with a corporeal form and I brought Izuna back that way. I didn’t find him, I made him.”
no subject
Here he was, giving Tobirama an out, and he didn't take it. He told the truth, he shamed himself in front of his brother, and Izuna couldn't help but look away. He didn't want to watch that. That was a private affair between the two brothers, and he felt like an unwelcomed fly on the wall. Regardless of the fact that this was about him, about his entire existence, he couldn't help but wonder if maybe he should be anywhere else at the moment.
"'Created me'?"Izuna muttered, annoyed by phrasing. "Your ego makes you sound like a god; stop that. You designed a jutsu that tried to right the wrong you did so long ago. That is more accurate."
And even Izuna's phrasing was kinder than it should have been. It wasn't broke the laws of nature, cheated death, or anything of the sort; no, this was a jutsu to fix a mistake. This was something right, something righteous, something proper. Surely, they had to understand that.
Maybe Hashirama wouldn't let Tobirama send him back. Maybe he would recognize the fact that he was person, and to kill him again would be cruel. Maybe this was the best choice.
Or maybe Hashirama would order it because he was an abomination of life, of existence, laughter in the face of the gods.
He couldn't die like this. He couldn't.
"It doesn't matter how--" It did, of course; it certainly did, but he wasn't about to say as much. "--but I'm here now. I'm alive--" sort of "--and you know that if my brother finds out that you knew about this and didn't tell him, that if you killed me again, there would never be any hope of him coming back. He would never forgive you."
Tobirama was a rock, immovable by water, but maybe Hashirama might be a better option. Or rather, his only option.
no subject
“You…created a jutsu that resurrects the dead?” Hashirama repeated slowly as though he couldn’t quite believe his own ears.
Tobirama looked decidedly uncomfortable and fought the urge to look away.
“That’s correct, I—“ And then Izuna was interrupting with his rather bitchy comments and the albino ninja slanted a rather irritated look his way. “I created the jutsu and brought Izuna back because I’d hoped it might give Madara a reason to stay in the village. I had no idea he was going to defect when he did.” If he had…would he have ever brought Izuna back? He didn’t know and that scared him.
“Tobirama…you can’t just go screwing around with the balance of life and death like that! I know the two of you have a history and all but going around resurrecting your dead …” The Hokage trailed off suddenly but the damage had been done. Tobirama looked wary now as uncertainty curled through him in a sickening wave.
If Izuna had thought it was uncomfortable before, he was about to learn the true meaning of the word.
“You knew?” The albino ninja asked softly. “You knew about us the whole time?”
“Not the whole time but come off it, I’m not an idiot. You disappeared for hours or even a day at a time and you didn’t think I’d be worried? Once I figured out what you two were up to…” Now Hashirama was the one who looked uncomfortable. And Izuna didn’t make things any less uncomfortable with his little speech either. The Hokage looked stricken in the face of those manipulative words but Tobirama was the one who spoke up sharply and coldly.
“Izuna! It’s bad enough you manipulated me but you’re not going to manipulate my brother like that. This was a mistake, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have brought you back.” A grimly determined light entered those red eyes. He started to form the seals necessary to release the technique.
Before you say it, I'm rude.
That...that wasn't how he was brought up. Was that weakness or strength the other showed? His heart would get him killed someday, but--
Hashirama hadn't minded. Madara would have killed Tobirama, probably would have tried to get Izuna to do it himself, but Hashirama had allowed it. They could have stayed together, grown together, had a home and been content in a village like this. It was hope. It was beautiful hope and his eyes widened as he started to smile because they had been accepted if only by the silence of omission.
And it was ruined all by Tobirama's next words.
The smile crumbled away in slow-motion, and the hurt that passed in his eyes was unavoidable. I shouldn't have brought you back. He might as well have said I shouldn't have tried to save you. I shouldn't have told you I loved you. You are the mistake. It all sounded the same to him, all mashed up into the sort of regret and remorse.
Tobirama had never intended on keeping him around.
"I was just an experiment to you," he hissed, reaching over to try to grab his hands, to stop it. I don't want to die again! I don't want to go back! Don't send me back! Tobirama, PLEASE! "To see if you could."
He shook his head, his hair shaking as he looked up at him, at his eyes, not bothering with genjutsus because there wouldn't be a point with Hashirama here; the second he could cast it, it would just be broken. "You would kill me a second time? Was once not enough for you? Your brother knew and he didn't try to stop us; was that because he knew you would do it well enough all on your own?"
His odd eyes narrowed, nothing in them but hurt and betrayal and shame; that he would do this in front of Hashirama made him feel more inconsequential, more vulnerable, shamed. They would probably laugh after he was gone, the damn Senju, and he could feel that old mixture of lovehate inside of him, twisted and gnarled like ancient trees. And his brother would never know. His brother would never know that for a few precious moments, he had been alive again. His brother would be blissfully ignorant, and maybe that was horrible and the best thing at the same time: then Madara wouldn't have to beholden to the Senju who could rip him away from Madara at any minute.
Sacrificing himself for his brother... it wouldn't be the first time.
He backed away, looking down at his feet. "Do it. I won't be the tool, the hostage, the bargaining chip against my brother like you want me to be. I would gladly die for him." He looked up, his hands curled tight. "Just like you enjoy killing me for yours."
no subject
“You knew…” Tobirama repeated utterly mystified.
“Yes, I knew. And I wanted you two to be happy. For us to reach peace with the Uchiha so that the two of you would have that opportunity.” For years, he’d been so afraid Hashirama would look at him with disapproval or anger…or worse yet with disappointment in his eyes. But no, his brother was a better person than that wasn’t he?
Izuna’s barbs dug in deep and left him bleeding internally. He’d always known the best thing—or perhaps the worst thing—to say to make Tobirama feel awful.
“You weren’t! Izuna I—“ He stumbled over the words that wanted to burst free because of his brother’s presence out of habit more than anything else. Izuna wasn’t the only one who didn’t want to air their dirty laundry out in front of his brother. But the damage was done already. “I love you but you’re going to run off to Madara and join up with him. Then you’re going to start killing the people of this village.”
Izuna’s hands kept him from making the seals and a part of Tobirama wanted to just reach for them. But he knew what he had to do and once Tobirama made up his mind, it was hard to turn him away from it. “I’m sorry, I wish I could have shown you a world of peace like I promised you.” He started to form the last few hand seals needed to complete the release of the jutsu
“Tobirama don’t be hasty here. We can work something out with Izuna. And I haven’t given up on Madara yet.”
“There’s nothing else to do, Anija.” Tobirama said but his eyes never wandered away from Izuna. “I’m sorry.” Whether he was apologizing to the Uchiha or to his brother was uncertain but Tobirama made the last seal. “Kai.” The word lacked any ring of conviction and those red eyes shimmered as they looked at Izuna. “I’m sorry…”
I want you to know that I almost started crying writing this...
Hashirama's words fell on deaf ears, for both of them. Izuna thought it was a sweet sentiment, a sentiment his younger brother -- Izuna's own lover -- would never share. There was no room for the Uchiha in that life, no space carved out in Tobirama's life; he ranked low on the list of priorities.
I will go out proud. I will not shame my clan, and I will not shame Madara. I am a strong Uchiha warrior. I will not show them how much this hurts.
"I don't forgive you," he whispered, knowing those words would wreckdestroymaim. Absolution was something he wasn't granting him, and the twisted part of him realized that Tobirama would live with those words forever, haunting him. He would die knowing that he killed Izuna not once but twice, and his lover didn't forgive him. He would come to the Pure Lands knowing that Izuna was there, nursing wounds that were old but never fading.
The word, kai, hung in the air, and he could feel it, feel the light inside of him, could finally feel that papery skin starting to flake away. He looked down at his hands, staring at the halo of luminance, feeling his grip with the world, with this dead body he puppeted becoming thin, loose. His strength was fading fast; he didn't have long.
Maybe it was crueler that he did have time than if he didn't.
He looked to Hashirama, face grim. "My brother is a good man," he whispered. "I don't think you can kill him, but if you have the chance, I ask that you don't. Spare him. He...deserves peace. He deserves happiness. And don't tell him I was here. It...would pain him to know that he couldn't see me himself."
Slowly, he turned back to Tobirama, and he hated it, hated looking at him, hated the way his own eyes were watering, the tears that started to slip down his flaking cheeks. Betrayal burned as much the second time as it did the first, that searing in his chest, the kind that beat against his ribs, that clutched his guts. Lips parted, closed, and parted again.
"You spoke of my curse, Tobirama," he whispered, "but you have it as much as I do. Look what you have done for what you think is love: murder, lies, breaking the laws of nature. Look at how you killed what you used to hold at night. It will never leave you; this will follow you no matter who you touch after me. It will follow you to the Pure Lands."
Those pale, glowing fists shook at his sides as he raised his tear-stricken face. "Your curse was far worse than mine could ever be, Tobirama. Especially because this is simply who you are at your corrupted core."
Who's cutting onions in here.
After all, as he’d said…he’d killed him not once, but twice. Sure, you could argue whether Izuna was truly ‘alive’ but it didn’t escape the fact that he was still sending the other man back to the Pure Lands against his will.
The film of tears in his eyes threatened to obscure his vision and burned fiercely. Tobirama blinked furiously in an attempt to clear his vision because he had to watch this. This terrible act he’d perpetrated on the other man.
Ironically enough, Hashirama looked more upset by the proceedings than his brother did. But then, he’d always been freer with his emotions. Unlike Tobirama, he’d never seen the point in hiding what he was feeling under a mask of icy indifference. “I want that too, trust me. I just want Madara to have the same thing.” He assured Izuna somewhat weakly. What more could he say to the man but that?
Tobirama met those hurt and angry eyes unflinchingly as Izuna’s hurtful words spilled over him in a venom-laced wave. The tenuous control he had on his own emotions threatened to shatter but deep down…he knew Izuna was saying nothing but the truth. And that truth was hurtful but it didn’t change the facts. He’d had no illusions about the morality of his actions and no doubt would have to face gods only knew what once his brother discovered just how perverse his jutsu truly was.
In that moment, he wanted nothing more than for a sword to come flying down from the heavens to impale him and put him out of his misery. But that was too easy, wasn’t it? Tobirama approached the rapidly disintegrating Uchiha whose corporeal form was flaking away like dried paper. Even though he had no right to, he still reached out to try and touch that tear-streaked face.
“You’re right, about everything.” He didn’t try and defend himself which made it worse in its own way. Tobirama knew in his heart of hearts that there would never be anyone else. How could he risk it when his own heart was prone to the same kind of poisoned, obsessive love that would put an Uchiha to shame? He was tainted…cursed just as Izuna had said. “I will still love you until the day I die. And if I’m allowed to enter the Pure Lands then…”
Those accursed tears were back again and it made his vision all watery and unsteady. “…you can kick my ass from here till eternity. Or until the next life where maybe we won’t be so cursed.”
Kick them out!
But it was a Senju that didn't turn them in, didn't hurt either of them when he had the chance. And that... that had to mean something.
But Tobirama agreeing with him, touching him, Tobirama crying, he wasn't prepared for that rawness, for that. "Don't," he whispered, but he didn't push that hand away, even leaned into it, leaned into the last warm thing he would ever know. The last person who would touch him would be the one who betrayed him, and he wasn't sure if that was fitting or cruel.
But still a life where they weren't so cursed, one where they wouldn't have to kill one another, where they wouldn't have to put the needs of others before their own, that sounded nice. Pleasant. And maybe they deserved it. Maybe they had earned it with the way this had played out.
Or maybe they were soulmates, tied together, destined for this hell every time. Izuna didn't know anymore.
"That...would be nice."
His eyes closed, the tears thick in his long lashes. The light was brighter, and no matter how much will he put forth, no matter how much he wanted to staystaystay, it was impossible; the void wanted him, and that was a stronger pull than anything he could grip onto.
Maybe one day, someone else would pull him from the Pure Lands and give him a body. If Tobirama could do it, so, too, could another wise person. Maybe this wasn't the last time Tobirama would see him. Maybe his brother would find a way, and maybe...maybe...
"I am tired, Senju," he whispered, his eyes opening half-way. "Leave me to join the ranks of ghosts that haunt you, please?"
And the light turned blinding, the paper flakes fluttering everywhere as his soul left the body and started to ascend. Somewhere beneath, he could hear the thud as a corpse fall to the ground, wasted and lifeless with its strings cut, and that would be another crime Tobirama would have to answer to. Izuna tried not to think about the fact that he had rode in that; flesh was flesh, bodies were bodies, and here was little more than that.
No, he didn't worry, because his gaze was on Tobirama, knowing that the pain he saw on the man's face would be a poor escort to the Pure Lands.
I hate myself for loving you, Tobirama. And you will never know how much I feel both.
no subject
But what right did he have to take such liberties considering what he’d done to Izuna? A part of him wished they just might have the chance at a second life somewhere and the chance to find happiness. Tobirama had never been a particularly religious man however and he didn’t know if he even believed in such things.
Yet this jutsu of his had at least proven the Pure Lands existed right? That a spirit could be dragged back to the world of the living from that realm so what more proof did he need? Perhaps he would need to revise his whole thinking on the subject. “Yes, I’d like that.”
A new life with the chance to finally have his lover at his side without a war or their clans threatening to rip them apart sounded almost too good to be true. But considering his sins, Tobirama didn’t know if he’d even be afforded such an opportunity or if he’d be doomed to wander the Naraka instead of ever even reaching the Pure Lands. It was a risk he’d taken the moment he’d decided to create his jutsu.
He found himself drifting ever closer, the distance between them melting away without conscious effort on his part. His thumb lightly brushed the tears clinging to those dark lashes as Izuna’s eyes finally drifted close.
Hearing that quietly whispered comment about how tired he was, Tobirama thought his heart might break again. He could sense the end was near and that Izuna’s time on this plane was up. Desperate now, he tried to capture the Uchiha’s mouth for one last kiss and for split instant, he was able to brush his mouth against that familiar mouth.
But then the jutsu was released and the façade was released as the light emanating from Izuna turned dazzlingly bright. It blinded Tobirama briefly and had him pulling away in surprise which was perhaps for the best. The poor Cloud ninja who’d served as the sacrifice for the jutsu dropped like a marionette who’d had its strings cut.
Tobirama looked up with an agonized look on his face as he struggled to blink through his tears to make out the form of what he could only say was Izuna’s spirit dissipating into the light. He didn’t do anything so trite as to reach out for him or to try and pull him back because it was a futile gesture.
But then Izuna was gone and the light faded rapidly away leaving him in the middle of his brother’s office with a dead corpse he needed to explain away to a brother who would no doubt be disgusted by his actions. His heart felt so heavy and like it had been shattered into a million pieces though so it was hard to even concentrate on what lay ahead for him.
“Tobirama…what have you—“ Hashirama started to say only to find himself cut off abruptly by a sharp gesture from his brother.
“I will clean up the mess.” Was all Tobirama said as he knelt down to pick up the body of the dead Kumo ninja.
“We need to discuss this!”
“I know, Anija. Just…let me clean up this mess first, please.” With that, Tobirama focused his chakra and honed in on the mark he had carved into the walls of his hidden laboratory. But he knew he couldn’t hide in there and that eventually he’d have to face his brother.
There was so much he had to answer for.